My grownup Christmas list

I know people make bucket lists, but that seems kind of morbid to me.  I'm going to call this my "Grownup Christmas List."  Since I've been connecting the dots in my own life, I've got a list of wishes for myself for the upcoming year.  I'm sure it seems selfish, but I've spent so much time taking care of others that I need to put myself first for a change.  (And even writing that is hard.)

I want to be happy.  Crazy thought that at 40+, I'm trying to figure out what truly makes me happy.  In the past year, I've realized what I really don't like and things that make me very unhappy.  That's as good a starting point as any, I guess.

I want to love and be loved

I want passion

I need creativity

I want to travel

I want to have a passport and good reasons to use it

I want to feel better, mentally and physically -- I'm tired of feeling sick and tired

I want to have the strength to continue to say no to things and people who aren't good for me

I want to use the talents and the brain that the Good Lord gave me, with the skills and creativity I have to do more and be more, personally and professionally

I want to find people who appreciate me for who I am and what I am capable of doing

I need to keep building my personal and professional confidence
I want to continue finding my voice so that I can speak up for myself and others, especially when others aren't being heard or can't speak up themselves.

I want to remember to be grateful for the many good things in my life

And finally, I want to try to be the person my best friends have always thought I was.  They seem to think I have a lot to offer if I'd only realize it.  

Life lessons after 40

I saw this recently and it really resonated with me:

Start over, my darling..
Be brave enough to find the life you want and courageous enough to chase it.  Then start over and love yourself the way you were always meant to.
Madalyn Beck

I originally started this blog to help others, to help them connect dots to resources and ideas they might not see elsewhere.  The last couple of months of this year have been challenging and even though I've had lots of ideas pinging around in my head, I wasn't sure anyone would be interested in my ramblings.  You hear about people who "hit rock bottom" and then made changes.  I think I hit bottom and dragged along on it for a while, but hopefully, things are starting to change.

I don't know if I'd call it a midlife crisis, but I sure do seem to have been on the receiving end of a lot of life lessons lately.  I've added a label for "life lessons after 40" since it seems that I'm connecting dots in my own life lately. 

To be making big life changes after 40 is nerve-wracking, but I'm hoping I can do it. 

Anniversaries and Accomplishments

Long time, no blog. 

Last month, I passed the 20 year mark with Virginia Tech.  Thinking back, I'm not sure I could picture myself where I am now, doing what I do.  There are days I feel like I'm very good at what I do and others, well not so much.  I think one of the best compliments I've ever gotten about my work is that "you just see what needs to be done and you find a way to make it happen.  Not many folks can do that." 

Tomorrow, February 21, marks my 18th year with the Computer Science Department at Virginia Tech.  These are the things that come to mind when I think of the things I'm most proud of from the last 18 years:

• Current -- Continue looking for new ways to help, support, fund, and enrich our students' academic experience.  I'm always looking for the "next big idea."  
• 2017 - 2019 -- Planning a regional Women in Computing event for students in southwest Virginia and surrounding rural areas of nearby states.  The Appalachian Women in Computing event (AppWIC) is scheduled for March 1 through 3, 2019 on the campus of Virginia Tech.
• 2017 fall semester -- piloted "VT-Shaped projects" to bring community service and outreach component to Sophomore Seminar, part of a planned revision to CS 1944.
• 2013 -- Created CS@VT end of year events.  Programmed and ran two days of events, culminating with an end of year banquet for CS faculty, staff, students, and company representatives.
• 2011 -- Brought the NCWIT Aspirations in Computing program to Virginia Tech.  Founding member of the VA/DC Affiliate with GMU and UVa.  Current chair of the Virginia Affiliate.
• 2010 -- Restarted departmental newsletter.  In addition to creating events, running them, and being the photographer, I wrote the stories for each event, posted them on our homepage, and then pulled together a hard copy newsletter each semester. 
• 2007 through 2011 -- Created the CS 1944 Sophomore Seminar.  
• Brought back Etiquette Dinners for our students.
• Boosted attendance at the CSRC career fairs by requiring 1944 students to attend the fair.  In addition to gaining valuable experience speaking with company reps, many students got internship offers very early in their academic careers. 
• Created additional interaction points for alumni, company reps, and faculty with our students. 
• May 2006 -- Took on our corporate partners program (CSRC) on top of my "regular" job.  I was interim director for 6 months and director by the end of 2006.  
• Started inviting more students to the lunch, growing lunch attendance from 30ish to 200+. I've heard a good number of students they got their first interview, internship or job because of who they sat with at a CSRC luncheon.  How many times have I heard "Thank you for seating me with Don Sanderson with Eastman, Steve Choquette with IBM or Keith Lang with Vanguard."  
• Grew the CSRC from 13 to 90 companies with a waiting list.  
• Fall 2014 -- Had the largest number of companies at a CSRC career fair: 87.
• 2007 -- Using CSRC funding, created first and only general scholarship fund for CS majors.  With yearly donations from the CSRC, grew the principal to $325,000. 
• 2005 -- With Terry Arthur, created the CS Ambassador program.  
• In 2000 -- Worked with Terry Arthur to find ways to manage nearly 600 advisees each.  We created an online Advising Handbook, but signing up for an appointment with one of us required students to pencil in a 15 minute time slot on the sheet of paper posted on our door.  Just the two of us, seeing as many students as we could at those peak times of the semester, and being relieved when we found that one of our work studies signed up for an appointment as Barney Rubble so that we could have a bathroom break.